I Will Write a Lament

By Peggy Rice

My heart is heavy. I’m not crying, not right now, but I can feel the weight in my chest. I’m burdened. I’m sad.

I just returned yesterday from a funeral for a family member, someone I loved very much. He loved the Lord, and so there was certainly a celebration of life – the one he lived here on earth, and the one he is experiencing now with his Savior in heaven. And I know that, as a believer, I do not grieve as one with no hope (see I Thessalonians 4:13). We have the assurance that he is with Jesus.

But that does not change the fact that there still is grief. For his wife, his mother, his children, his siblings. For the many lives he touched with kindness and gentleness and his smile and his laugh and his sense of humor. For all of those he left behind. Including me.

So, I will cry out to God. I will write a lament, expressing myself to the One who can comfort me.

David did it – the Psalms are full of David pouring out his feelings to God. (Just Google Psalms of Lament – it’s quite a list!) He sets a great example of giving it all to the Lord – the good, bad and ugly. The honesty. The protest, the expression of emotions, the voice of confusion.

Laments have a general format:

• An address to God (“Oh, God,…”)
• A review of God’s faithfulness
• A complaint
• A confession of sin or claim of innocence (sometimes not included)
• A request for help
• God’s response (sometimes not included)
• A vow to praise God or a statement of trust

Here’s mine:

Oh Father God, my heart hurts. I know your Word says that You are close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), and so I trust that You are near. But here in this world, in my present flesh, I feel such sadness. There was such a hole at his house, as the family gathered together to reminisce and share. He was missing! How my heart breaks for his wife, for the loneliness she will feel without him. Grief for his mom, as one never expects to outlive their children. For his kids, whom he adored and had strong relationships with. For the many in the community where he served with joy and kindness to all. Please, God, wrap us in Your loving arms. Hold us close as we mourn. Help us recall his smile, his generosity, his love of You. Help us to press into You when we are feeling overwhelmed with grief. Help me to pray for comfort for his family, on a consistent basis. Give me words to say when they are appropriate. I know, Father, that You understand grief and sorrow and sadness. You understand our pain. I will look to You, the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3). Thank You that You hear my prayer, and collect my tears. I love you, Lord. In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.

Writing a lament can be very therapeutic. God can certainly handle our pain, the honest expression of our emotions. He already knows them, but wants us to bring all of our feelings to Him, so that He can help us sort out the truth from any lies we might be believing. He can handle our anger, even if we’re angry at Him. He’s a big God, full of grace and mercy, and He will help us process our emotions if we bring them to Him. Because of Jesus and what He did for us on the cross, we can enter into the throne room with confidence, where we will receive mercy and grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16)

If you’re hurting, or confused, or angry, and the emotions feel like they’re overwhelming you, I encourage you to write them out in the form of a lament. If you don’t like to write, consider drawing a picture or painting with watercolors. Express those emotions to the God who loves you completely. He wants to hear from you.

Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for 5 years and as the Hope Coach trainer for 3. You can reach her at peggy@freshhope.us